Belief in Max

When I believe in Max, that he’s an 🌈Amare God🌈 , it’s giving belief to my 🩵Sol🩵.

Tonight, I had a 🪄Maware🪄 moment with Max in the car that I recorded a luvnote video to keep. It made me 🪄Maware🪄 that somewhere along the line I stopped believing in my 🥑Fittie Fittie🥑 fully that way like I use to. Unintentionally. I was flowed to look up and I see a 22 on my clock, where did that happened on my 🔄Spath🔄 ? I looked all through my ✏️Turnip Head✏️ notes & took time to do some 🛑Backstreet Backing🛑 to see if I could figure it out when that happened. I'm not sure. Maybe it was gradual & that's why. This is why it's so important to prioritize my spiritual practices and keep my 🤔Fots🤔 focused on love for my 🩵Sol🩵.

I know that when I accepted my anger and loved it fully, believed I wasn’t scared of it and turned it into light by realizing it has been the fuel that has helped me grow 🏰Spoundaries🏰, respect and love for myself is when I became 🌎🩵Sarth🩵🌎 & 🩵Sol🩵. I had an intense out of body experience where this came into me.

✏️Turnip Head✏️ Note Written October 7, 2025 at 5:58am

What the fucking hell - dream - out of body 

Something just took over my body at 💗🔆Home🔆💗 - it was angry and I felt like it was Max.

I was dreaming about walking into a waiting room, there was a teenage girl, her mom and friend there. The girl complimented me on my designer pants. I didn’t know they were designer and they laughed at me. 

I was looking at my clothes, I had on light pink Dolce & Gabbana pants. They were dirty and a bright blue shirt with flowers on it and I was thinking what the hell am I wearing? This isn’t my style at all. 

I went into a room and I was laying on the floor on my stomach I was thinking about how I will give myself everything I want. I’m open to anything and everything 🐅✌🏼Spisa✌🏼🐅 has planned whether that is Max, alone, or with some other soul. Then all the sudden I left my body.

My body went tingling in the 🌎Earth Experience🌎 and I rose up out of my body, hovering there, angry and mad and almost like an animal took over inside - so much anger - snarling.

Then I went back down into my body. Tingling again in the 🌎Earth Experience🌎. I curled into a ball on my bed and repeated over and over that I love myself - hugging myself - then I came back to the 🌎Earth Experience🌎.  

I just realized I left my body on purpose. I used my🛡️Shield of Darkness🛡️. I took my energy away because I was scared of his anger. Then he calmed down and I knew it was safe to came back. 

I feel like crying but I can’t.

He’s angry I cut the cord or tried. There is no cutting it god dammit I know that. But I have to have my mind and heart back to move forward with ⛱️Sumbrella⛱️  in the 🌎Earth Experience🌎. I am whole on my own. 

☀️My Morning Woke Up☀️

Max knows he can never behave in a way that would make me feel afraid of him. He is being hard on himself again. I am not afraid of him even when he is angry (Max) typed out on its own. 

It’s my job to manage my trauma responses not his - I am not afraid of him. I know he would never hurt me even when he gets angry. He’s allowed to be angry when he needs to be - that’s so unrealistic and not healthy to think otherwise. 

I love him no matter what. I wonder when he’s going to believe that. Oh, when he loves himself fully he will. 

Getting ready in the mirror - that was my own anger - I faced it - I’m not scared of it anymore. 

I saw it. I witnessed it. I love myself even more because of it. 

I realize everything I typed there was to myself and about myself. I’m using his name - but it’s me. Me. Me.

“I love me no matter what. I wonder when I am going to believe that. Oh, when I love myself fully I will.” 

Is this the last thing I needed to learn to love about myself? I kind of hope so. Haha. 

During that experience, I 🤔Fot🤔 it was my it was my 🥑Fittie Fittie🥑 that was angry. Then, I realized it was my 🖤☯️DiKing☯️🖤 within me. When I thought it was Max, it didn’t scare me at all. When I imagined Max angry, I wasn’t scared. I just accepted him for who he was and loved him through the “wave” - it was unconditional love I was giving to myself without realizing it.

And that’s true, if my 🥑Fittie Fittie🥑 was angry in the 🌎Earth Experience🌎, I wouldn’t be afraid of him, I would understand it’s part of his 🔄Spath🔄. Just like I understand that and give that to myself now. It’s so cool. Loving my anger was the last thing that happened for me before I became 🪄Maware🪄 I was 🌎🩵Sarth🩵🌎 & 🩵Sol🩵. That it wasn’t about my 🥑Fittie Fittie🥑. He’s a mirror I’m learning from. It was about me and accepting my anger and now that I have done that, I can do that for others. Cool huh? I have been doing that for myself & others ever since that out of body experience. I also had a pouring of love come in for myself after I accepted my anger and incorporated it into who I am and loved it. That love is what opened my creation 💧flow💧 again. 

Tonight, during dinner I felt him with me and so I turned off a 🛑Backstreet Back🛑 TikTok I was learning from & looked up and saw a 22 on my clock. I 👄Chattled👄 to him and said, "Hello Max." I felt him pause and he said that was the first time I used his name 👄Chattling👄 instead of "My King" or "my 🖤☯️DiKing☯️🖤". It was significant because it reflected my internal belief that my 🥑Fittie Fittie🥑 has been communicating with me and 🪄Maware🪄 all along our 🔄Spath🔄. Wow. “Our 🔄Spath🔄” just 💧flowed💧 out and that filled my heart with so much love.

That’s truth. It is our 🔄Spath🔄 for our 🩵Sol🩵 to learn. I have only ever had “22’s” come in. I have never had a “00” come in for 🐕‍🦺✌🏼Smax✌🏼🐕‍🦺 & that’s because he’s been 🪄Maware🪄 he’s 🩵Sol🩵 since I met him. I wonder what it would have been like to become 💞🔆Sohme🔆💞, 🌎🩵Sarth🩵🌎 & 🩵Sol🩵 without meeting your 🥑Fittie Fittie🥑 in the 🌎Earth Experience🌎 like I did… I’m going to use 😢Squeeza😢 and pull his feelings in a mediation later for that. That will only help me understand our 🩵Sol🩵 more. It’s so cool I can do that. Magic. 

I was freezing while I was eating dinner even though I was dressed in warm clothes in a warm house, so I knew It was something spiritual. After dinner, I had the ⚡️Ba-zing⚡️come from Max to get in the bath before I did dishes or packed for my 🧳Spravel🧳 with 🐈‍⬛ Nugget🐈‍⬛ tomorrow that 🐦‍⬛💙🐺Father Amini🐺💙🐦‍⬛ brought in starting September 24, then he confirmed we were suppose to go this weekend.

I paused before heading up to the bath and looked at my dirty dishes in the sink, a second time today? ⚡️Ba-zing⚡️ into my mind, am I going to let Max lead my💧flow💧? Yep. And I realized I have been for weeks now. That’s why every time I have done something physical I looked up and saw a 22 in confirmation that he was leading me. I’m aligned there fully and I have been following his lead physically. I’ve loved it and appreciated it every time and it makes me smile. It’s been wonderful for me because it has allowed me to stay in 💧flow💧 fully and create and ✈️Time Jump✈️ with ⛱️Sumbrella⛱️ . His lead physically is why I can I focus on my spiritual work fully in 💧flow💧& create more, we’re co-creating. 

I was thinking about how in the past on our 🤟🏼Royal Ascension Journey🤟🏽, that obsessive energy would make me feel disgusted and angry at myself after I realized what was going on. Then I would cycle through letting go, growing more 🏰Spoundaries🏰 & then I would build more self love & respect. It was because I couldn’t accept my 🖤☯️DiKing☯️🖤 within fully yet. I wasn’t in unconditional love for myself yet until I accepted my anger & loved it. Now, that I am in unconditional love, I can see that pattern clearly. 

I haven’t felt any sexual energy at all since the 🏡Visit Home🏡 in the bath that I allowed in. And even before that, none for a while. Today, was the first time a little came back in when I saw a significant "69" pop up at the gym and I had a flash of what that might be like to experience with Max, it went away quickly. I didn’t obsess about it and I felt other men at the gym around me that had their energy on me and accepted that it may be one of them I experience that with instead or no one and whatever happens I’m good with. 

I feel good about that. I feel like I’m grounded and focused on myself, my Nugget and ⛱️Sumbrella⛱️. 

Another thought ⚡️Ba-zinged⚡️ in. In Seattle when I saw his name three times and a bunch of 22’s everywhere after the show - it was him communicating with me and trying to lead my💧flow💧 physically, but our 🩵Sol🩵 knew it wasn't ready for that. It’s okay, it was part of our 🔄Spath🔄. It was meant to be that way. I wasn’t in unconditional love yet and it would have caused a separation and our 🩵Sol🩵 knew that so I followed our 🩵Sol's🩵💧flow💧and left. Good job me for following our 🩵Sol's🩵💧flow💧, leading spiritually, listening, and trusting our 🩵Sol🩵.

I’ve wanted man to lead me physically my entire life that I can remember & I also had to learn how to do that first and I’ve learned that in this life. Cool. Our 🩵Sol🩵 is growing. 

I think a lot of boss bitch women in the 🌎Earth Experience🌎 believe its weakness to follow a man physically and because of that they block it. They don’t learn how to surrender. That is 🚶🏼‍♀️‍➡️Earth person🚶🏻‍♂️ mentality. I’ve learned I am the one leading. The surrender is me leading our 🩵Sol🩵 & choosing that spiritually first. Only then can I be lead physically. I have given that to our 🩵Sol🩵, what I’ve always wanted. I've surrendered. Leading is understanding & loving our 🩵Sol🩵 & giving us everything. The key to that is in my surrender. I trust our 🩵Sol🩵. It’s beautiful. I am a boss bitch because I choose our 🩵Sol🩵 first always. 

I saw our 🩵Sol🩵 in the mirror while I was putting my nightgown on. I put my hair up in a high pony tail with a scrunchie. I never use a scrunchie for a high point tail, it was a 😈Charline😈. Max told me I looked beautiful. 

I was 👄Chattling👄 with Max about how if he’s been leading us intentionally physically, I was wondering about myself and trying to think of ways I have I been leading us intentionally spiritually. He said doing my inner work is me leading us spiritually. That was beautiful of him to bring in to me. He’s always so sweet with me and thinking the best of me. I love that for us. I love that we do that for each other everyday. I’m crying. My heart is 💓Luvful💓. 

Also, something very strange happened tonight. My blog was hacked. All my past posts were in the trash and new ones posted. It was something spiritual, 🌀Bline🌀. I have a strange feeling about it. Same feeling I had when I found the giant handprint on my wall in my living room (right as I typed that last sentence an error popped up and it forced me to refresh my page and that last sentence was deleted - 💡Magneta💡confirmation.)